For the most part, my blog will revolve around my photography business, and the sessions that I have with my clients.
That being said, I do think it is important to still stay in touch with all of you in Winnipeg. Since I do not have much time to do sessions out in Ontario, talking about my own experiences will have to do until I am back in the routine of doing photo sessions every weekend.
I also think that a part of it is to help myself, and to keep myself sane. They say it helps to talk about it, or to even just write it down. So here goes nothing.
The last few months flew by almost faster than I could blink. One day I was just starting up my third year of university, and the next I was finishing up my last final exam and leaving the next day for Ontario. Everything happened so quickly that I barely had time to process what I was actually doing.
The holidays were great, as always. They flew by quickly, and the Sunday before I started my first day at work came way faster than I would have liked.
Throughout the last month, I have had so many people ask me "Jenn, are you excited?!" "Are you nervous?" "Are you sad?". To be completely honest, I had no idea how to respond to any of those questions, because I didn't know how I felt. I didn't have the time to sit down and think about what I was actually doing. My response would always be "You know, I am excited for change. I am excited to see how it will be somewhere else". I wasn't lying either. I was excited that I would be closer to family, that I would be able to save up some money, and to have the opportunity to try something new, somewhere new. I didn't want to believe that I could feel anything else but excitement, for the change, and for an opportunity that doesn't happen often.
Once everything settled, and I started my routine, it finally sank it. I was driving home one day, and everything just hit me - It was almost as though I fell straight on my face. I spend on average, a couple of hours a day in my car, and when you have that much time to think, it definitely starts to get to you.
I realized that I was busy almost every single day in Winnipeg. I had school, and photo sessions, and appointments, and studying, and hanging out with friends. Now I was getting up at 5:30 A.M. to go to work, and getting home at about 7pm to eat and then go to sleep. The first few days I was just exhausted from the change. I think that the only time I have gotten up at 5:30 A.M. was when I had to get on a plane, and now I was doing it everyday. Once I started getting used to it, I would get home and try to think of something to do other than think.
It's not as easy as it seems. I feel as though my life has been flipped upside down. I am trying every day to be optimistic, but there are days that are a lot harder than others. The idea of moving away sounds great. So many people have told me how jealous they are of me. To be honest, I can say that I am pretty jealous of them. It's no longer a "vacation", and I'm starting to really miss everyone and everything from the place I called home for 20 years.
I'm in that stage that no one really talks about when they move away. It's not the easiest stage, and a lot of the time I feel like giving up. I keep reminding myself that things will get better, and that this experience will make me so much stronger in the future. I know it's true, and I know that I will be able to look back and cherish this opportunity.
It has helped me already in so many ways. Moving away has shown me things that are important to me. It's given me time to sit back and look at what "normal" was to me. It's helped show me what I want in the future, and what I don't want. It's shown me who is important to me, and who will be there for me in the long run. It's done so much for me that I know I can't be upset about it.
As much as I know how great this is for me, I can't help but to be upset about how lonely I've been feeling. How much I miss my old life, and everything that made me feel so happy.